I was not going to write or tell this story, and have remained rather silent about it for a number of reasons, but after conversing with some of you I have found the courage to break my silence and share this experience. No individual is named in this account for legal and data protection reasons. 

I have been dealing with racism personally and professionally for as long as I can remember. Teased from primary till secondary school. Chased down the street with things hurled at my head by right wing group members as a young adult. Had drinks and abuse thrown in my face, even a bottle once, as punishment for being something that someone else thought I ought not to be. Incidents like this cropped up even in my first roles within Information Security, and I know that my tales are not the only ones. 

Yet by 2019, I genuinely felt that our industry motto would be a resounding “what makes us different is also what brings us together”. So, it is with sadness that I report that things are not necessarily so. 

I hosted a number of friends and colleagues this year at the White Hat Ball. For us cyber security geeks, it is the one time of the year we can dress up, have a laugh, connect with everyone in the industry and have it all whilst making it worthwhile, through supporting a charity. I had asked a very good friend of mine to join as my date that evening, and during the course of the evening made introductions to her as one does. After dinner and the usual mingle, a fellow security professional, well known and particularly respected in the industry, started talking with her. Though I was only on the side-line of that conversation, I saw it turn sour as the “gentleman” in question began talking vulgarly and making inappropriate insinuations towards my date. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. By no means am I a caped crusader, nor did I at any point feel that my date was not capable of defending herself. But, when something unfolds that is not right and is making a lady uncomfortable, I am the type of person to step in and diffuse the situation. And so, I decided to intervene in a sensible manner by nicely and calmly asking him to refrain from using such language and just enjoy his evening and the event. But to also, before that, please apologize to my friend for turning charm into obnoxiousness.

This then rapidly escalated. 

The individual in question turned his verbal commentary onto and, low and behold, a racist triad followed. Now it had been a while since someone has been openly racist, but it had been a really long time since it has been done at an industry event. The individual pushed himself onto me in an attempt to raise a reaction, and though I never do get physical I admit it crossed my mind. Michelle Obama had it right when she said “when they go low, we go high!”, but wow, is high not always the easy path.

I was lucky to be surrounded by people who care about me and rushed to my defence. Though I felt angry, upset and disappointed at what had just happened, I left the party and my table of guests. But I had, and still have, so many questions that remain unanswered. Where was security? Where were the event committee members? Where was the support? How can we stop this? Two of my party attempted to raise a formal compliant , but no action was taken. 

Yes, I am sad to report that despite the year, it is still high time for senior executives within cyber security to openly harass women and be publicly racist with zero repercussions.

Let’s change this.